Hearing from those who feel behind is rare in a space where everyone flexes how much he earns online at a young age.
Sure, there is value in sharing your success. But sharing your failures or poor decisions is equally important to warn others not to fall into the same mistake patterns. This is what I’m trying to do here.
As a 40-year-old guy, I can tell that I have wasted over a decade on the wrong path.
After many hesitations, I decided it was my duty to share the lessons I learned the hard way so you could make better decisions in your prime and achieve faster than me.
I will start with two main hard lessons, telling my story and the mistakes I made to help you avoid them and better navigate your 30s. Then, the nine hard lessons section will summarize the first two main lessons and detail seven more to help you thrive in practice.
Disclaimer : The information provided in this article is for educational purposes only, and doesn’t substitute professional advice. Results may vary. The article may contain affiliate links. See the full disclaimer for more details.
Don’t waste your 30s on unrealistic career ambitions
In a rough generalization, your 20s is when you learn and experiment with various jobs and lifestyles, and your 30s is where you typically establish your career and family life.
You become an experienced employee, initiate a business, and hopefully find what brings you joy, enough money, and fulfillment. You might even start to invest some money for retirement.
For some people, however, their 30s continue their 20s, and they still try to figure out what to do with their lives. I’m one of them.
I started my 30s as a back-office executive and changed several companies once in 1-2 years. It’s the essence of the 9-5 cubicle mediocre modern life but without the prestige and decent wage.
The issue is that I didn’t care much about that, as my passion at the time was pursuing a doctoral degree in the U.K. That aspiration fueled my soul but restricted me from seeking a better corporate career.
In the first half of my 30s, I finished my M.A. in sociology and published two scientific papers. In hindsight, the fake self-esteem I gained from these achievements led me in the wrong direction—to an overcompetitive route that was not for me to begin with.
I put all my eggs in that academic basket and kept my mediocre job. I tried to keep my expenses low and generally maintained a low-quality life. It was not fun.
At the same time, I was fired up about this academic dream, believing that this lower quality of life was temporary and worth my fulfilling, promising future.
I refined my proposals and took the IELTS exam three times until I got the band needed for the UK universities to which I applied. I put my heart and soul into this prospect.
It felt meaningful to contribute scientific knowledge and get the prestigious title of university doctor one day..
Unfortunately (now I can say fortunately), after two attempts in 2017 and 2018 and 3 professors interested in supervising my research proposal, I didn’t win a full scholarship for my postgraduate studies, so I let this academic dream go.
I was devastated and went through an existential crisis as my professional identity broke altogether.
The takeaway is that setting ambitious career goals in your 30s is natural. However, I made the big mistake of being unrealistic about these goals, and I would be grateful if you could make more informed career decisions and not repeat my mistakes.
Start a creative side hustle. The sooner, the better
At the time, I had no idea about the option to work as a freelancer and build a personal brand online, which I only discovered during the Covid pandemic.
Locked at home, I realized that creating content provides a similar yet better creative outlet with less competition. It’s free from academic boundaries and can still be meaningful as you practically contribute your value to the world.
Since then, I have finally been able to define my value and grow as a solo creator. It was an intense self-discovery process with ups and downs and changes in my gig and branding, but it happened eventually.
The process included freelance writing for small businesses and building my brand through blogging and YouTubing on several niches: self-discovery and side hustling, retro keyboards, and chess, my primary hobby.
It took me a long time to narrow down my niches and focus, including separating my channels and losing momentum.
So, start your side hustle as soon as possible and try to be as focused as possible.
Check out this free 5-day email course I designed to help you find a creative side hustle you love. It includes a niche and platform discovery process that will help you be consistent and efficient with your time and efforts.
9 Lessons I learned the hard way to grow in your 30s
Here are 9 hard lessons to save your time, money, and frustration in your prime:
1. Make informed career decisions
Don’t waste your 30s on unrealistic career ambitions like mine. Competing in a field that can be lucrative for more people at a younger age is better. For example, academia is an ultra-competitive, late-blooming career with much uncertainty.
2. Start creating something valuable
On the side, start building your brand as soon as possible, and don’t wait for big success to come. Share how you solved specific problems, your professional expertise, or a hobby you are passionate about.
3. Don’t get distracted by easy money schemes
Focus on what you like and are good at instead of trying various shiny schemes promoted online. This way, you start from the beginning with a long-term growth mindset and don’t get as frustrated as I was.
4. Be focused
Master one niche over 1-2 platforms instead of running all over the place like I did in the first years online. It’s natural to start unfocused and through spaghetti on the wall but restrict that experimental time to finding a niche and the right platform for 3 months max.
5. Create videos and give value
Consider video creation and camera confidence building through publishing on YouTube or other video platforms early on. I started my YouTube thing too late because I was afraid of putting myself out there and getting criticized through negative comments and all that jazz. I discovered that no one cares about you as a person but more about how helpful and engaging your content is.
6. Blog on Medium
As for writing online, I would have started on Medium, not a traditional website blog. This way, you get traction from the platform, not only from search. Ranking on Google has become rough for small bloggers since the recent algorithm updates and the new AI generative search results.
7. Follow productive habits
Understand the importance of consistently establishing productive habits. Whatever routine you choose, reducing friction from the start of what you do is the most critical part.
8. Find a quiet place
This one might sound weird, but it’s surprisingly important. Pay attention to the acoustics of the apartment and working space before renting them so you can be more productive with your time. I wasted so much time and got annoyed by the noises from the neighbors, so I’m telling you, it shouldn’t be taken lightly.
9. Socialize with like-minded people
Meet with other entrepreneurs and side hustlers more frequently to stay motivated and less alone. Being alone too much is not healthy, and I’m telling you that as an introvert.
Final words
Everyone is different, and what didn’t work for me might still work for you and vice versa. Also, you might be facing different challenges and decisions than these. However, I firmly believe everyone can fall into similar mistake patterns and poor career decisions I made in my 30s, so I wanted to warn you.
I made these decisions not because I was stupid or lacked common sense but because I went all in with my naïve career ambition and lived poorly for years for no reason.
When I began the side hustle, I was unaware of the right online opportunities. I was not focused on my core values and top skills, which could have given me momentum faster and led me to a fulfilling life that I finally reached today at 40.
I hope these takeaways help you be more aware of your career and side hustle decisions so you can unlock your true potential, fulfill yourself earlier than I did, and skip that unpleasant experience of feeling behind in life.
Shachar is a blogger and sensitive person who worked in a recruitment company and holds a master’s degree in sociology. After years of struggles to find purpose, he made this blog to help others find their purpose more efficiently. He likes to play chess, walk in nature, and take photos in his free time.